An atheist at Christmas

I've been reflecting lately about my journey from agnostic to atheist, being Christmas time therefore surrounded by religious images. I think in some ways I do envy people their ability to believe in religion, because it does give people a feeling of hope and a reason. However, I feel enlightened, happier and more honest to be out as an atheist. Personally, I have no need of religion. My morals, sense of wonder and purpose have taken no hit without it.

It does not form my morals, I am a very moral person. I might even high and mightily say more moral than some religious followers, as I don't believe there is a forgiver out there, instead believing we make our own lives what they are through our actions, so who can afford to make one wrong step? Of course there are mistakes, but I do try to avoid repeating my mistakes, or knowingly taking that misstep. I am responsible to myself for my actions, and ultimately my reward is hopefully the elusive 'good life', contentment, pride in a good way. I always consider the consequences of my actions on others, as they all have the same rights as I do.

I look at the night sky and I see a miracle. The miracle of billions of stars, galaxies and possibly universes; the miracle of anti matter, black holes and dimensions we can't comprehend. I look out my window and see the majesty of nature - a blade of grass, an ant carrying a load, a tree covered in snow (more likely right now tbh). I am excited and passionate, glimpsing the secrets and mysteries that are out there. I am so grateful to live in an age of knowledge and technology, rather than superstition. The achievements of humanity, good and bad, stretch out and can be explored in a way that could not have been dreamed of just a couple of generations ago. They are Awesome in the way that used to be reserved for Gods.

I have studied ancient near-eastern faith and I find their explanations captivating, their recurrences enlightening and their stories fabulous. However, I do wonder what parochialism leads people to cling to these fables so far removed from their context. How is it that people can laugh at a belief in Dionyssus or Osiris while believing a slightly different (yet equally unlikely) story? The similarities between religions to me reveal the common threads of humanity, our shared need for purpose, for understanding. They should bring us together. Instead, how many people have lost their lives in pursuit of proving their god the more powerful. I shed a tear for these victims of manipulation. We have science now, and it's just as majestic, if not as magical. Maybe it is even still magical to us, as my very VERY rough understanding of quantum physics suggests.

As to an afterlife, well the truth is noone know what happens after death. By definition we can't know. It is easy to see why people would want to utilise our grief for those who have passed by peddling stories of paradise. To control our actions now, it's so tempting to use the carrot of 'heaven' and the stick of 'hell'. "If you're not good now, Santa won't bring you any presents" I hear myself saying to my kids, but secretly hope it's not long til they're in on the joke with me. I would never deny them a childhood of believing in the unbelievable though, so will do my best to keep it from them for as long as possible.

I certainly don't begrudge anyone a sense of faith, having said that I do honestly believe the world would be a happier and more peaceful place without religion. So much masculinity, money, power and control. I am not out to turn anybody (an insult to our free will if there ever was one!) and my children are free to choose in what they believe, they are certainly not atheist children. But I hope that the ability we try to instill in them every day to question sources, examine the evidence, and ask for proof will see them prosper in life no matter what path they take.

Next time that you hear the Christmas story, I invite you to think about it. To question who wrote it and why. Let's never be afraid to ask the questions, the knowledge is the light, not a sin.

Merry Christmas!

Nearly Xmas!

But it doesn't feel like it a bit! We've had a lot of snow (although the last week has been mercifully much clearer) already, and I'm told this is very Christmassy. To me, however, it feels wholly unchristmassy. I don't feel like it's the festive season until you are boiling hot and sunburned, no matter how much you stay indoors.

It is really nice having the picture from my window matching all the xmas carols for once though (well technically twice I guess), we have Let it Snow, Winter Wonderland, White Christmas etc on pretty high rotation. Not a whiff of Santa wear your shorts. The kids have taken to singing "Jingle Girls" instead of Jingle Bells, and it does have a nice festive air to it I'll admit.

Very much hoping that the Winter weather has done its worst already, as we are T (train) minus 6 days and counting... and the four hour trip to London may be a jolly holiday adventure, or pure misery at about 4 feet. Time will tell.

Ho ho ho, and bah humbug!

Words I'd rather erase from my vocabulary :)

So here we are just 9 weeks 2 days till we fly out. My feelings are so mixed, we will truly all miss this place which is our home. But, we're starting to remember some of the things we've really missed about Australia which is exciting, like Sakata rice crackers, Oporto, great coffee.. ok it's all food, any expat will tell you that's par for the course. This has in fact given rise to almost unbearable homesickness.

There are some things I will not miss, here is a selection of words I'd like to unlearn.

• Freezing fog
• Sleet
• Snow
• Ice
• - temperatures
• Boiler
• Radiators
• Snow days
• Grit
• Vajazzle (trust me, don't google it if you don't know)

Mostly to a theme, I have really been OK with the weather, I don't know if it's harder right now because it's been so extreme so early this year, but I have been finding myself in freakout mode.

These are things I'd never really even heard of in Australia. I'm certainly not saying that the humidity and heat are easy to live in, far from it, but I'd never before been scared to leave my house due to weather (well I suppose I wouldn't like to in a thunder storm but it's not really the same fear of, will I make it to the car?)

With such a short time remaining, we are all doing our best to stay positive, keep our eyes on the prize. It feels like the end of a marathon, but somehow we need to sprint to the finish line.

I wonder if we'll emerge victorious, proudly shattering that ribbon, or slouch across with tears and recriminations. Part of me seriously wonders if we will be able to make it at all, but experience tells me we probably will.

Gotta run :)

Halloween and Bonfire Night

Halloween is huge over here. I understand that this is fairly recent, and I'm sure Australia will go the same way soon enough - it's one more bonanza for the shops after all.

Both the girls have Halloween parties to attend. We've bought and carved a pumpkin - I'd never seen the right kind of pumpkin in Australia, it was great fun (although gross!) to hollow it out and carve a pumpkin-y face on. The girls were thrilled when I inserted the candles.

I hope they'll be even more excited on fireworks night, I've bought a pack of 17 fireworks with great names like 'asteroid' and my personal fav 'desert sunrise'. We avoided the 'atomic blitz' and 'annihilation' sets! Fireworks have been banned in Australia for at least 20 years, so it'll be fun to have our one and only chance. I admit I'm a little scared, but I'm sure that will just lead to a very careful set-off.

Pics of both events to follow.

Hidden Glasgow 5. Old Fashioned, in a good way!

I have been thinking how much I have enjoyed the way that Glasgow is so traditional in many ways. This can be a bad thing – for example when opening a bank account still relies on meeting with a bank manager and convincing them you should (although with most banking free I’m certainly not complaining at the lack of insincere niceness you get in Aus). But mostly it’s lovely. People have good china for when their friends come to tea. You can still have your old unwanted clothes collected regularly by charity. Mail still comes on a Saturday. Heck, there’s even a milkman! All this combined with a fast paced, exciting vibrant city. Choice.

I had heard that Australia was ‘laid back’, but just what this meant was hard to define when you haven’t lived anywhere else. I certainly felt stressed out a lot of the time! Homes are a good example of the difference, here the front room must always look immaculate and the blinds should be open so that everyone can see how lovely your room is. I hadn’t really come across this is Australia, especially if you have kids in the house, it’s kind of expected that your rooms will be cluttered and messy (if not actually dirty) most of the time. Wandering down the street is like walking through a fancy home magazine, people have beautiful bouquets of flowers, exciting wallpaper, bespoke furniture… all on display. Even those who have kids running around seem to manage this feat, I do sometimes feel like I’m letting the street down a bit with our chaotic lived in room.

Another difference is the care that everyone, but especially women and girls take with their appearance. At first I was intimidated by the yummy mummies with their nice clothes, neat hair and makeup for the school run. However, this mode of self care has a different subtext than it would in Australia. These are not aloof people trying to put you down, it’s just habit and a different society.

In fact, I’ve made some amazing friends here, it’s going to tear my heart out to leave! We’ve been embraced, accepted and made to feel part of the family here. It’s one of the contradictions of Glasgow that I’d most like to portray, there is a prickly almost hostile face that can be shown to visitors, slightly defensive, wary that this town can make an easy target, the butt of a joke. However, give the town a go, look past the seedy East end of the town and you’ll be richly rewarded indeed. The people’s warmth here makes the weather seem insignificant. There is formality, but with a cheeky sense of humour. These are, in my experience, the kind of people who just get on, make the best of life, escape on holidays to see the sun in Winter and work hard the rest of the year to make it all happen.

The South side has the feel of a large country town, I barely know anyone, yet I rarely go to the shops without bumping into a friend. It’s lovely. And five mins drive away you really ARE in the countryside, expansive views and cows to boot. Meanwhile, a quick train trip in the other direction and you are in the midst of a cosmopolitan city.

There is nowhere in the UK I would rather live, I am so proud to call Glasgow my adopted home.

Hidden Glasgow 4. Attitudes to public health

Clearly I owe the inspiration for today's blog to this sign floating over a marvellously sunny Buchanan Street (amazing pedestrian shopping mall in city centre) this morning.

This banner brought a derisive snort from me, so I thought I'd share why this is, and some of the differences I've noticed in the public perception of 'health'.

Breastfeeding vs Formula feeding as a matter of choice? So of course it's great that the small number of people who physically or psychologically can not breastfeed have formaula. It's even fab that those who give it a try but find it too painful, exhausting or time consuming can switch to formula. Especially if they have the encouragement to stick with it as long as they can. There shouldn't be anything to feel guilty about. But to my Australian sensibility, formula feeding shouldn't be a choice that can be made before you have a baby in your arms. To date, I have seen ONE mother BF in public in Glasgow (apart from me.) Now, keep in mind that I have 2 young kids, so hang out in parks, cafes (hah if only they really knew what a cafe was here!) etc, and you simply do not see it. Ever. I breastfed Madeleine twice in public, (she was about 18 months) and both times was subject to looks of absolute horror! People would really prefer to see a baby with a bottle full of Irn Bru or even RED BULL! (yes this is 100% true) in their pram than a mummy doing the most natural of things and feeding her baby. Even a Dr here told me that I'd fed her 'too long' and not to 'feel too guilty that you've caused her to be underweight'. Well of course this is nonsense, but I was so disheartened I stopped nursing soon afterwards.

I hope this sign starts to help people see that breastfeeding should be welcome in Glasgow, but part of me thinks it will take more than a sign to change the stupid attitudes of women and girls who think that it will give them 'saggy boobs' (newsflash darling, that would be pregnancy and ageing!) deny them use of their 'fun bags' and is 'creepy'. (sadly those last two are quotes from a recent British magazine article.) For now, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, you don't see it, so people don't feel it's a comfortable choice.

Choice and school lunches We had an orientation at school, and although it was (I sincerely hope) meant to be a joke, they said that they encouraged healthy eating, but it was the parent's judgement, so "If you send them with nothing but a packet of jaffa cakes, we may suggest you include a grape with the packet tomorrow". Coming from a land of no plastic wrap, no sugary snacks, no cakes or biscuits (even homemade), no crisps (chips), no drink but water, etc etc... this was shocking to say the least. I feel that parent's misguided notion of choice is once again depriving their children from the very best practise in health. Because I am not going to send my child in with an unbuttered multigrain roll and 2 carrot sticks if Struan MacWhatsy has nothing but crisps, biscuits, chocolate and juice. Of course my daughter has a balanced lunchbox, but I do occasionally include some home made ANZAC biccies or a small packet of quavers (similar to twisties). I would be much happier knowing that everyone had a healthier standard of lunches rather than having to junk mine up to ensure she fits in at the table.

Smoking An absolutely ghastly amount of people here smoke. It felt like going back in time ten years in Australia where it was acceptable to light up while pushing a buggy (stroller) or sit on a bench next to a new baby while smoking. Blergh, won't miss that one when we get back to Australia! I found some UK data suggesting that 34.7% of women in the UK smoke, substantially more than the global(18.9%), OECD(25%) and European averages (27.6%). While 36.7% of men smoke, this is the same as the global average and a little less than the European average (40.7). I do wonder how many of these scary sounding percentages reside in Scotland.

Alcohol It's not so much a 'wee dram' that people seem to consume here. Booze can be purchased in the supermarket, making it accessible and very cheap. Tonic wine (Buckfast) has been blamed for a lot of the alcohol fuelled problems around Glasgow, and it is pretty nasty, containing caffeine along side the alcohol.

Diet So many people eat prepared food- I thought the Woolworths slogan "Australians are fresh food people" was just marketing BS until we moved here. Can't wait to have a fruit and veg section bigger than the prepared food section. Salt, fat and sugar are tolerated in a way that they aren't in Australia. Conversely, there is a LOT more pressure for women to be thin, made up and very well presented. Not sure I want to know how that works.

All these things are being worked on, there are public health campaigns all over. The country's life expectancy is consistently among the lowest in Europe, so the incentive is there. And so I sign off hopeful that messages such as the optimistic 'Glasgow welcomes breastfeeding' become truths rather than ironic symbols.

Hidden Glasgow 3. The Patter

So on to the indecipherable language. Learning to transliterate and translate Ancient Egyptian Heiroglyphs was nothing compared to picking up this dialect. It's not really English, well not as we know it anyway. This wee video has terrible sound quality but gives a wonderful overview of how a real Weegie sounds. (including the profanity, you've been warned!)

Now, all four of us can understand the language clear as a bell, and Genevieve (age 5) can slip into it when talking to her friends or teachers. Bruce and I sound RIDICULOUS when we try to copy it! Although we do throw in the odd ah'HUH, Och or Aye. And wee is obligatory, they literally do not use the word little.

Some odd words we've come across:
Messages Shopping, ie 'I've been up to get the messages'
Juice Drink, like ANY drink, like even a COCA COLA!!! (we are pretty shocked about this one!)
Dillutin' juice Cordial, regardless of the fact that no fruit was harmed in the making of said cordial.
An tha's you Almost universal at the end of a transaction

Numbers were hard for a long time, especially over the phone. But once you're in the swing of it all, you can keep up with the swift conversations and odd turns of phrase. I have however lost the ability to tell a NZ accent from an Aussie one, occassionally even a British English accent!

There aren't many non-Scots in Glasgow. Why not? Well, seriously, why would you move here? It's not THAT bad, it's quite nice, but unless you had family here, a job, or another strong reason to come here, I seriously can't imagine choosing it. People can joke about the weather, I know I never really 'believed' in SAD or vitamin D deficiency causing real problems, but my goodness, do they ever! People are so sour and angry and pent up, yet come a clear, sunny day and it's layed back, friendly... a bit like Australia and this makes me homesick.

You take for granted the multiculturalism and the underlying understanding of migration that permeates a country like Australia. I can't even find an Italian/ Continental deli here. And when you do see an immigrant (and what is meant is someone who isn't white) it's "oh I don't want to be racist BUT.... they can't park, they have taken over Pollokshaws, they drive like they want to cause an accident".

I've been really lucky to have a SA, NZ and Aussie mum as friends at the school. They keep me a wee bit grounded. I do so love to have a yaaarn with me mate from Tassie, righto? We put our best nasal Occer Accents on and go for it. Well I assume she's putting it on, I know I am playing right up to it.

Funnily enough when I was talking to one of my very good Glasgow mummy friends the other night, she said "Oh you mean the crazy Australian mum" I asked whether I was not the crazy Aussie mum, and she admitted, "Well, you were the crazy Australian mum until she came." I thought you-bewdey! A small school in Southside Glasgow, and I'm NOT the crazy Aussie mum! Fan-bloody-tastic.

Hidden Glasgow 2. Culture Capital

Art, artifacts, architecture and design: maybe not the first thoughts that come to mind when you think Glasgow. In fact, there is a plethora of museums and galleries (almost all free) as well as stunning architecture (eg Charles Rennie Mackintosh art deco beauties). So I'd like to share a couple of interesting and unusual museums in the city centre that we've enjoyed.

St Mungo Museum of Religious Life and Art is one of my all time favourite museums. It's located on the Eastern edge of the city, in the same complex as the Glasgow Cathedral and the Glasgow Necropolis, which are both stunning to see.
Inside you'll find a truly amazing array of religious artifacts from stained glass windows, to brass Hindu deities. My favourite thing is the way they deal with context in this museum. Everything was sensitively displayed, and the information went deep into the meanings and reasons for use, belying an attempt at objectivity that seemed at the core of the museum. Kids are encouraged to look at, draw and trace religious iconography from all different religions, they can touch bits of Muslim prayer rugs, menorahs, crosses and chalices. There are books toys and props to help kids de-mystify faiths that are not their own. They explore the Catholic/ Protestant divide (or as it plays out in Glasgow, the Celtic/ Rangers football team divide)We saw an amazing exhibit on rituals, featuring videos, clothing and equipment for many different times and faiths. This museum feels like a sacred space, but liberated from the heavy dogmatic oppression you experience in a building dedicated to one faith. Having a background of working in a Museum, I have to say this is a well presented, interesting museum on a fascinating subject. As an atheist, I wasn't sure that I would be so impressed by this one, so it was a great surprise for me.
My next hidden gem is the Gallery of Modern Art (goma to the locals) is located right in the heart of Glasgow City. It's just a minute's stroll from Buchanan Street Mall, the main shopping strip. The building was originally built by one of the tobacco lords whose wealth relied on the fact that Glasgow was a wee bit closer to the Southern states of America by boat than London. This old building is now beautifully juxtaposed with its contents, a radical modern art gallery. Every Saturday, they run free kids workshops where children engage with an exhibition piece then create their own piece of art. The resources are fantastic and the staff are friendly and helpful. The exhibits are provocative and fresh. Although this museum is another small space, it's packed. Downstairs is yet another surprise, as the basement is a public library. Oh and the fellow at the front (statue of the Duke of Wellington) loves to wear his hat, especially on a Saturday or Sunday morning. I assume it's a Glaswegian rite of passage to fulfill the dare to add his traffic cone.

The last museum I've loved is the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. OK, so it's not really a secret - it's huge! This time it's in the groovy North West corner of the city, close to Glasgow University. What I love about this site is the way it's designed. One half of the building is a natural /ancient history museum, with dinosaurs and mummies, the other is an art gallery. You can see examples of the Glasgow boys and (although I've just seen it's on loan) the Dali Christ of St John of the Cross has pride of place. A marvelous experience all around.

The rosy red sandstone that makes up so many buildings in Glasgow suburbs immediately seperates it from the creamy white Edinburgh. Our whole street shares this material. I love the look and think it adds to the city's character. Apparently the stone in the city ( a mix of creamy and rosy sandstone primarily) used to be black, thanks to pollution! However the cleaned up stones are a metaphor for the reinvention of Glasgow. A city full of culture, beautifully designed and passionately displayed.

Hidden Glasgow 1. The Green City

Yay my very first Hidden Glasgow post!

One of the first things I noticed when we moved here is the amount of green space in and around the city centre, it's quite amazing really. So that's my first surprise.

Even though a lot of people live in tenements (now usually quite posh, large and very expensive) they have access to free, sprawling green areas. Pollok Park (photo ^Highland Cattle at Pollok Park Chris Upson and > Moo n Coo) is only about 10 minutes drive from the city centre, yet is home to a herd of Highlan' Coos, some gorgeous draught horses, an old mill, a stunning contemporary museum and art gallery, an historic home, seemingly endless walking paths, forests, mountain biking trails... well let's just say this isn't a park but a P.A.R.K.

Most cities would love to have one amazing park like this in their midst, but for Glasgow it's just the beginning! Glasgow Green is over at the Southeast border of the city centre. It has a monument commemorating the years that locals strung up their washing on the green, as many people lived in one small room (I heard a story from some Glasgow friends of their happy, contented little friend, he and his nine brothers and sisters, along with their parents shared a room. And not just to sleep, that was it! He literally slept in a drawer, which sounds funny but it's so harrowing, it's hard to imagine). Glasgow Green also contains the 'People's Palace', complete with a Victorian Glass house, just stunning on a chilly morning. The rest of the building contains a social history museum, including child-sized laundry just in case you didn't believe how harsh life must have been in 19-20th C Glasgow. A little unsavoury now, the green is bordered by the mighty Clyde river, and is a great spot for cycling, picnicing, and avoiding freaks.

Far more pleasant is Rouken Glen Park (photos) which is up the road from us! That's Southside for those who aren't familiar. A huge pleasure lake complete with swans and ducks is a favourite with the kids. Keep exploring and you'll find a truly stunning waterfall, which I'm told is spectacular when it freezes in Winter. Gently rolling hills contain alternating grassy fields and woody wildernesses, perfect for hide and seek. I do wish I could convey the scale of these parks, they go for blocks and blocks. And winter just changes the landscape to a sea of white - overwhelming for Sydneysiders who have never had to live in snow (the girls had never even seen it).

Keep going South, about 15 mins past our house, (about 30 mins from the city) you are in The Country. It's quite remarkable just how soon the houses give way to cows, fields and slopes. Keep heading this way and you'll hit Calderglen Country Park. Don't let their publicty turn you off: Formerly part of the Calderglen and Torrance Country Estates, the park extends along a scenic wooded glen forged out by the Rotten Calder River, a tributary of the River Clyde. Don't worry, Rotten Calder River is just a name... it's not really a river. This park includes a wee zoo (complete with Aussie animal section, the sound of the kookaburra's laughing was good for the soul) and plenty of woodland walks.

These are just a few of my favourites. Glasgow is a city full of open public green (orange or white, depending on the time of year!) spaces, which is a pretty good way to live, in my book. The kids are out there on sledges in the snow, kagouls & wellies (raincoats & gumboots) in the rain. No hats in the Summer, but hey, you can't have it all. And it doesn't happen THAT often, after all!

Our last 6 months in Glasgow

So, how odd that I'm writing this having made shepherd's pie last night too! Over a year since my first, I'm now a pro, at my, what, third maybe!? Anyway, I really want to remember our experiences here so I thought I'd restart my blog.

We are moving home! For so many reasons, most importantly my MIL is very ill with a progressive disease and we really miss our family.

Today I cried watching stupid Border Security, imagining walking into Sydney airport, being home! It had never really occured to me what this might be like.

"It was one of these mysterious fairy calls from out of the void that suddenly reached Mole in the darkness, making him tingle through and through with its very familiar appeal, even while as yet he could not clearly remember what it was...Home! That was what they meant, those caressing appeals, those soft touches wafted through the air, those invisible little hands pulling and tugging, all one way!" The Wind in the Willows.

I often think of little Mole yearning for his home when I feel homesick. It's a sensation difficult to describe (not if you're Kenneth Grahame obviously) but it really is almost painful at times. Like the pit of stomach drops and tears prick my eyes if I suddenly see a picture of Syndey Harbour. The majesty of the Opera House, gleaming, gleaming against the crystal laughing waves. OK, hyperbole maybe, but it's so true. It gave me a rush to lay eyes on it even when I lived in the city, but now oh it's like a magical land to me, the Emerald Palace, Oz truly.

Of course I don't imagine my halcyon view of Sydney is entirely accurate, there will be problems and vexations wherever you live. I've never been one to believe in running from problems, they always find you and then you're just far away from those who might have helped.

OK, so after a brief moment in my homesickness, on to the topic. Glasgow.

This city is not kind to strangers, with its harsh, cold reputation. The Glasgow kiss (a headbutt). The Glasgow smile (slitting someone's mouth ala the Joker). Dirty, poor, freezing, bitter. And that's just the people! The indecipherable language is a real barrier to visitors too, I cried after talking to Bruce's new boss on the phone the night before we left Sydney. I couldn't make out a word. Was this to be my life? Left for dead in a frozen gutter with a deep fried haggis in one hand?

Luckily Glasgow is so much more than any of this. It is a city that rewards your decision to give it a chance like a cat who stops trying to bite and instead rolls over exposing a warm soft underbelly.

So I'm going to blog on things that have surprised me about Glasgow. Things you probably didn't know. Bruce and I visited Glasgow briefly in our camper-van-around-the-UK trip many years before we imagined having kids, let alone living here. We rated every city in Europe we visited. Glasgow came last. I said I never wanted to return, as far as I was concerned, the city centre's winding one way system criss-crossing hills interspersed with suspicious looking hoodlums was more than enough to turn me off for life. But living here is different (THANK GOODNESS!!) and that's what I'd like to share.