An atheist at Christmas

I've been reflecting lately about my journey from agnostic to atheist, being Christmas time therefore surrounded by religious images. I think in some ways I do envy people their ability to believe in religion, because it does give people a feeling of hope and a reason. However, I feel enlightened, happier and more honest to be out as an atheist. Personally, I have no need of religion. My morals, sense of wonder and purpose have taken no hit without it.

It does not form my morals, I am a very moral person. I might even high and mightily say more moral than some religious followers, as I don't believe there is a forgiver out there, instead believing we make our own lives what they are through our actions, so who can afford to make one wrong step? Of course there are mistakes, but I do try to avoid repeating my mistakes, or knowingly taking that misstep. I am responsible to myself for my actions, and ultimately my reward is hopefully the elusive 'good life', contentment, pride in a good way. I always consider the consequences of my actions on others, as they all have the same rights as I do.

I look at the night sky and I see a miracle. The miracle of billions of stars, galaxies and possibly universes; the miracle of anti matter, black holes and dimensions we can't comprehend. I look out my window and see the majesty of nature - a blade of grass, an ant carrying a load, a tree covered in snow (more likely right now tbh). I am excited and passionate, glimpsing the secrets and mysteries that are out there. I am so grateful to live in an age of knowledge and technology, rather than superstition. The achievements of humanity, good and bad, stretch out and can be explored in a way that could not have been dreamed of just a couple of generations ago. They are Awesome in the way that used to be reserved for Gods.

I have studied ancient near-eastern faith and I find their explanations captivating, their recurrences enlightening and their stories fabulous. However, I do wonder what parochialism leads people to cling to these fables so far removed from their context. How is it that people can laugh at a belief in Dionyssus or Osiris while believing a slightly different (yet equally unlikely) story? The similarities between religions to me reveal the common threads of humanity, our shared need for purpose, for understanding. They should bring us together. Instead, how many people have lost their lives in pursuit of proving their god the more powerful. I shed a tear for these victims of manipulation. We have science now, and it's just as majestic, if not as magical. Maybe it is even still magical to us, as my very VERY rough understanding of quantum physics suggests.

As to an afterlife, well the truth is noone know what happens after death. By definition we can't know. It is easy to see why people would want to utilise our grief for those who have passed by peddling stories of paradise. To control our actions now, it's so tempting to use the carrot of 'heaven' and the stick of 'hell'. "If you're not good now, Santa won't bring you any presents" I hear myself saying to my kids, but secretly hope it's not long til they're in on the joke with me. I would never deny them a childhood of believing in the unbelievable though, so will do my best to keep it from them for as long as possible.

I certainly don't begrudge anyone a sense of faith, having said that I do honestly believe the world would be a happier and more peaceful place without religion. So much masculinity, money, power and control. I am not out to turn anybody (an insult to our free will if there ever was one!) and my children are free to choose in what they believe, they are certainly not atheist children. But I hope that the ability we try to instill in them every day to question sources, examine the evidence, and ask for proof will see them prosper in life no matter what path they take.

Next time that you hear the Christmas story, I invite you to think about it. To question who wrote it and why. Let's never be afraid to ask the questions, the knowledge is the light, not a sin.

Merry Christmas!

Nearly Xmas!

But it doesn't feel like it a bit! We've had a lot of snow (although the last week has been mercifully much clearer) already, and I'm told this is very Christmassy. To me, however, it feels wholly unchristmassy. I don't feel like it's the festive season until you are boiling hot and sunburned, no matter how much you stay indoors.

It is really nice having the picture from my window matching all the xmas carols for once though (well technically twice I guess), we have Let it Snow, Winter Wonderland, White Christmas etc on pretty high rotation. Not a whiff of Santa wear your shorts. The kids have taken to singing "Jingle Girls" instead of Jingle Bells, and it does have a nice festive air to it I'll admit.

Very much hoping that the Winter weather has done its worst already, as we are T (train) minus 6 days and counting... and the four hour trip to London may be a jolly holiday adventure, or pure misery at about 4 feet. Time will tell.

Ho ho ho, and bah humbug!

Words I'd rather erase from my vocabulary :)

So here we are just 9 weeks 2 days till we fly out. My feelings are so mixed, we will truly all miss this place which is our home. But, we're starting to remember some of the things we've really missed about Australia which is exciting, like Sakata rice crackers, Oporto, great coffee.. ok it's all food, any expat will tell you that's par for the course. This has in fact given rise to almost unbearable homesickness.

There are some things I will not miss, here is a selection of words I'd like to unlearn.

• Freezing fog
• Sleet
• Snow
• Ice
• - temperatures
• Boiler
• Radiators
• Snow days
• Grit
• Vajazzle (trust me, don't google it if you don't know)

Mostly to a theme, I have really been OK with the weather, I don't know if it's harder right now because it's been so extreme so early this year, but I have been finding myself in freakout mode.

These are things I'd never really even heard of in Australia. I'm certainly not saying that the humidity and heat are easy to live in, far from it, but I'd never before been scared to leave my house due to weather (well I suppose I wouldn't like to in a thunder storm but it's not really the same fear of, will I make it to the car?)

With such a short time remaining, we are all doing our best to stay positive, keep our eyes on the prize. It feels like the end of a marathon, but somehow we need to sprint to the finish line.

I wonder if we'll emerge victorious, proudly shattering that ribbon, or slouch across with tears and recriminations. Part of me seriously wonders if we will be able to make it at all, but experience tells me we probably will.

Gotta run :)